Movie Randomness

Crying Like a Baby Lately

I missed journaling yesterday. I haven’t missed a day since owning this Mac. No big deal. Attachments are the cause of my misery. We had movie night the other night a watched one of my favorite chill romantic comedies. We watched 50 First Dates. For some reason I really enjoy it. It seems as though the production was fun and low key. That they shot from the hip in some sort of way that worked out. Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler play very well together as co-stars. The story was simple yet complex. Even though Sandler shows so much immaturity when it comes to romance, it works out and turns to be completely believable and authentic. It was to the point I just about cried at the end of the movie when Barrymore’s character meets her daughter for the first time on the screen.

Which leads me to my next subject… crying. I’ve been crying like a baby with many movies this year. I can’t figure out why I am becoming so sensitive to plots. I’d like to think that it’s a greater appreciation for life. That I understand it’s fragility. It’s short life span. It’s magic. The older I get I try not to take things for granted as much and movies and books can really exploit these to draw in a crowd. I saw this movie when it first came out almost 20 years ago. It didn’t have this kind of affect on me other than it made me feel good. This time around, the effort Sandler’s character puts in for a girl who never remembers him is extraordinary. It makes me want to believe that I or others on this earth are capable of these acts of love. I love the idea that if humans can come up with a storyline such as this, that that storyline is truly possible in real life. Of course you hear stories of this throughout your lifetime, it never seems to happen to you or those close to you. Maybe we should looking more into how we can produce our own miracles of love. Not that they can only happen with other peoples’ imaginations…

A Little Something from James Clear Newsletter

“How are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?” ~Jerry Colonna

​This. This quote above. That is what I’m talking about. Sometimes we just can’t get out of our own way. Most of the problems in this world are our own doing. No one else’s. As soon as this is recognized, the sooner you get on the path to love and freedom.

Reads That Force A Reflection

I just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy. What an interesting read. The grammar and punctuation were unique. First, the grammar. I’m not an English teacher by any means, but it seemed many sentences were fragments. I don’t care. I write in them a lot too. It’s just that every once in a while the fragments had to be reread to clarify. The punctuation, well, there wasn’t much of it. It was the quotation marks mainly that I missed. The two man characters were a man and a boy. At time it was tough to distinguish who was speaking and who wasn’t. Many times they repeated each other and you don’t know who left off where. In any event, it turned out to be a decent book. It was about survival. Perseverance. Love. Faith. And practicality. But so sad at the end. What’s really interesting is you have no setting. You have no description of what led to their predicament or where it goes. You just have 2 people just trying to survive by avoiding others in a post apocalyptic world. But the detail of what they had to do on a daily basis and the bond between the boy and papa overtook all of that. You didn’t care after a while. And the ending, so sad but Papa had prepared him for the moment as much as he could considering. And the boy wasn’t alone.


It made me reflect a little. I skied with my dad yesterday. We got to talking about the book Sapiens. And that led into a whole slew of conversation topics. Especially when he mentioned the uses of religion in human history. So we began discussing how the basic philosophies of most religions are basically rooted from man made ethics. And that these ethics or morals were related. Then we discussed a little of what I’ve been working on mentally in regard to attachments. I quickly told him that from what I’ve been reading lately, it seems attachments to things or thoughts are the cause of our misery. That we need to detach from all to know true love. To know true freedom. This includes family and friends too. He came back with how he had been speaking to mom that she needed to stop being so anxious about not seeing the grandkids more often as she’s been pretty bored during the pandemic. And then he said,

“I explained to her that we’re at the end of our lives. That we don’t know how much time we have left. Maybe 10 years, who knows? But you must understand that we will not be here forever and that this attachment to them has to lessen for your burden to lessen.”

Something to that effect anyway as I’m paraphrasing. I understood what he meant in the moment. And in that moment, I was also thinking about detachment from attachment. And the moment didn’t bother me. It bothers me now. Am I ready for him to leave? Does it even matter? Can I imagine life without him? Have I learned all that I can? Have I asked I that I could? Have I been with him as much as I should? Am I overthinking? This is where the discussion of attachment goes awry with me. I understand everything else and the need to detach from it. But I can’t. I can’t wrap my head around family. I just can’t. And although death is as natural as life, it’s finite unlike like life. And maybe my mind is coded to not accept finite with family. But the time will come. The moment will have to be dealt with no matter what. I need to be the most dependable person in the room at that moment.

Vacation is Over

President’s week vacation has ended. It was actually quite a long week for me. I wasn’t ultra productive in the sense that house shit got done but I was ultra productive hanging with the kids, doing some skiing, getting some overdo reading done, and recalibrating my mindset. I feel like I have a clearer path to follow now. I feel like I’m pointed in the right direction. I feel a sense of rejuvenation. Now it’s time to live it. I need to focus on my awareness of what’s going on in my head. I need to delay all reactions. I need to detach from as many attachments at a time.

I need to simplify to solidify.

SIMPLY Stay Within Yourself

What I am starting to discover is that those who have slowed down, who are deliberate, who are focused, who are present, may seem slow and take their time with things but have their life in more order. They are more content. They are certainly more in tune with themselves and do what they want to do. There’s a freedom in it. There’s a pleasure from it. There’s a worldly rewarding and consuming feeling from it that leads you to happiness. Contentment. Simple happiness. And the simpler things are, the stronger they have to be. Less to fail. Less to consider. Less to act upon. Less to think about. Keep things simple and within you.

Every Day

Attachments are my misery. Detach.



There are no ordinary moments.

Detachment From Attachment

The Road

I’m getting into the book, The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. Sadly, this is my first Pulitzer winning book. Better late than never? Anyway, I’m about half-way through it and it’s starting to get pretty interesting. I refused to read the dust jacket summary or Amazon’s, I just wanted to read it without influence. I have found the writing unique compared to other mainstream authors. What I really like is that it’s very simple. Sentences are concise. The is language simple (although there are some vocabulary gems). But what is really getting me with the publication is the father.

It’s a simplicity that almost seems to have become complicated.

In a nutshell, it seems that there was some apocalyptic event. There’s a boy and a father (no names). The boy seems to be at most 10 years old and maybe as young as 7 or 8. The dad is probably close to his 40’s. There’s no mother that I can speak of. She’s been mentioned a couple of times and it seems she took matters into her own hands. In any event, the book has shown a father that is sure of a lot of things of life and how to handle it in the situation they are in. The handling of his son is quite impressive too. He’s certainly coming from a great place and is looking out for the best interest of the child. He tends to make the right calls as far as where he goes, what he allows his son to see and hear, and most importantly, patient. In a situation where food, water, shelter, and even sunlight are scarce, this father really has it together. I’ve yet to read much negative emotion from the text. Or any emotion for that matter. He’s certainly stoic in that he has resided himself to the fact that they are living moment to moment. And that he simply has accepted what is in these moments. The future is not even a consideration. Talk of the past is almost non-existent. He is resolved each day to take care of his son and to keep moving. It’s a simplicity that almost seems to have become complicated.

The search for the lack of daily necessities would be instinct for us all. But what’s making it complicated is that not only is it scarce, but you must avoid other people at all costs. Survival of the fittest in this case is not some punchline, it’s for real. You must take care of yourself as others will take care of themselves. Trust simply isn’t part of the equation.

What I’m loving about the book is the dads detachment from each situation. He is under the philosophy that he needs certain things to survive and he’ll either figure out a way or he won’t. He doesn’t have emotion involved in his decisions. He doesn’t attach emotion to the situations he runs into. He simply tries to figure out the safest way, does it, then moves on. Moment by moment. Understanding that emotion is a waste of energy. That by taking on each situation one at a time with logic is the only way to stay sane and survive.

In it’s simplicity, comes strength.

Ironically, this is the only way to live in the real world too. But we don’t. We are comfortable. We want more because we’re used to getting more when we want. We don’t appreciate life. How fragile it is. How meaningful it is. We push through with expectation and entitlement. We have become too used to good living. We need to fight. Fight for every moment. Fight to make sense of why we have been chosen to be here. Fight to find a crack in society to fit into. Fight for freedom and happiness that can only come from detachment from all material things and needless wants. It’s the good fight. It’s the right fight. And I wish it was the only fight. We can learn from fiction as well as nonfiction. This father character seems to be surviving on will. A will that doesn’t need to be fed luxury. A will that only craves basic human necessities. In it’s simplicity, comes strength. And hopefully, this strength sees them through the end. If it doesn’t, at least he (they) can say they lived on their terms, gave it all they had, and can be at peace knowing this. That feeling sorry for yourself will simply kill you that much sooner. Not because you lacked skills, but because you allowed shame.


Welcome to the Rat Snake Nation

Coming Soon…

Who We Are

The Rat Snake Nation (RSN) is a site for mutual support and human interaction to facilitate discipline needed for improvement in us all. Whether it be mentally or emotionally… yes! Physically? Well, that’s just a side effect. If we’re not making connections between the ears, then the physically has no meaning. But, it’s a chance to break yourself down physically to open up the barriers we have mentally. It’s time. It’s time to come together as a community. To work in a space that has familiar friends and like-minded athletes. A space that allows you to be a part of something bigger than yourself. A nation of people who can share common experiences through effort. Stress. Exhaustion. Pain. Hell. Suffering. From these extremes, the Rat Snake Nation was born.

What We Do

We provide a handful of workouts that will focus on running, biking, and mental training. Each month you will be given about 4 workouts for running and biking with suggestions and practices for mental training. But where we hope to shine is what happens AFTER we suffer… the interactions we have to make connections to who we want to be. We have all trained before, but we all haven’t transferred what we have learned from this training. Here, I want to provide a platform for like minded athletes to interact through discussion. Through Zooms and a forum, we will have a space where athletes can share common race experiences. Where athletes are willing to offer what they know and humble enough to learn from what others know. It will be a space where you can work hard on the body to provoke the mind. It is a space to ask questions. To share. To learn. To read. To listen. To modify and suggest. Even to watch. A space that looks at training in a fresh way. A way that brings out your intrinsic motivation. This will be a space where you will inspire and be inspired.


Members of RSN will have exclusive benefits including:

  • Early Registration*
  • No waitlist. If you decide later in the year that you want to race, you’ll get in*
  • Exclusive swag that will not be offered at races
  • Rat Snake specific training plan
  • Access to “training retreats” **
  • Pre-race festivities
  • And more…

At the RSN, we know what it’s like to prepare. What it’s like to budget time with a job, a family, and living in some of the worst weather known to any athlete. The mental difficulties of getting the work done at times. We are familiar with the paralyzing feeling of not knowing what to do next. Or how to fill that hole we dug from not training for a few days… and how to power through to get back on the path. We’ve been there. We’ve said “screw it.” We’ve sworn off training before. We’ve eaten terribly. We’ve. Made. Excuses. It is high time we got back to doing. It’s time we got back to what made us better. We need each other. We need a momentum change. We need that force to initiate that movement again. A force to change our direction. Our behavior. Let’s get moving because we want to. Because we know it makes us better. And a better us means a better world. We have the power to change. And the change starts within ourselves. Let’s get this moving. Let’s be bold and do something new. Let’s raise ourselves so that we can raise those around us. This stint isn’t about getting a faster time at the Rat Snake or any other race, this stint about the tattoo we leave behind on this world. Rat Snakers’ resolve doesn’t leave bruises. Their commitment, drive, desire, and discipline leaves permanent marks. We have to get that attitude back. We have to want to be better again. We can’t let anything change our path. And if there’s an obstacle in the path, then that obstacle must be the way.

We don’t need a fulcrum and lever big enough to move the world. We need a nation willing to sacrifice. We need a nation ready to come together. We need a nation that doesn’t move the world. We need one that will CHANGE the world. Let’s kill it.

*After 3 months of membership

**COVID Pending

Because, That’s What He Does

So I mentioned a couple of days ago how Jim took me on city property that butts up against the reservoir in town along with the airport. In the outlying acres next to this land is private property. People who want to be left alone in the back woods. And I do mean that. The road they live off of it just better than a seasonal road. It’s harsh terrain of undulation, vegetation, and seclusion. Things the people who live there, crave. They are genetically predisposed to silence. To solitude. To self-sufficiency. They seem to have more of the Lizard Brain working for them than most. They would be the survivors of the apocalypse. Of the next revolution. They are the ones who can build, fix, jury-rig, hunt, cook, and create their own energy. They could be off the grid as they are close to it now. They just hang onto the fringes as they too do enjoy certain conveniences of modern life. Maybe I should say tolerate. But the point is, they are the ones who live moment to moment. They are the ones who seem bound by nothing but their own imagination. So when we came upon some of this land, I asked my pal Jim, “Why are these sheds and cabins here?” And Jim simply replied, “Because, that’s what he does.” We are no different than our other animal friends that we think are so simple. We may think we’re better. More evolved. Have easier lives. But do we really?

Our common brothers in the woods, they may be closer to the animal kingdom in spirit and practice than we think we are. We may see these peoples and their ways of life peculiar and rough. Thinking to ourselves that life doesn’t have to be that hard, why are you subjecting yourselves to it? Yet, I’ve been around anyone who lives in these places that aren’t smart or articulate. They hold deep conversations without saying too much. They take everything in that you say and do yet never judge or comment on it. They are well versed in everyday topics. They see things in a different light than most. They typically are not bound by fear. They just do. And they do what they want. I never feel as though I have that freedom. I feel bound to this side of life where I pay others to fix, others to hunt and slaughter, where I need others to explain or do my thinking for me. I’m a dependent. A dependent of society. A society that wants me to stay in line. To do as I’m told as it’s “normal.” But it’s not free. It’s not freedom. Not that those on the outskirts are necessarily free in the literal sense, but they are closer to it than I am. They can at least see, feel, taste, smell their freedom, I just know it exists in theory. Because, that’s what I do.

These woods-folk, they are wired to be doing exactly what they are doing. They are the true missing links to our ancestors of thousands of years ago when they were more nomadic. Yet they are nomads without ever having to leave this area. Or whatever area they are in. They are the ones who don’t fill their days with other people’s desires. Their days are filled with their own desires. One of them happens to have the desire to build. Like the beaver who instinctively makes a dam, this man instinctively is a carpenter. A fucking really good one. Who happens to love to build structures on his property. To the point that he has drilled wells up on his property in anticipation of more structures going up in the future. He’s a creator. A creator of shelter. A creator of aesthetics. He has no choice like the beaver has no choice but to chew up trees and grind them to exact specifications to fit in some organized mess of branches. He has followed his instinct and has stayed true to it no matter what anyone else thinks. The independents. That’s what they are. They don’t observe the game like we do. To them, they are the architects of their own game. They make the rules and they referee. And that’s what we hear about how we should live all the time by those who’ve created the game for us. And have rigged it so that we can never quit their rules. Our woods-folk, well, they’re buffered from society with creativity, resolve, genetics, and a stronger instinctive drive. In our view, they may be closer to what we judgmentally call “lower” primates in regards to where they live or even how they live. But truly, they are the “higher” primates compared to us all because of how they choose to live.

Shit, I forgot to take photos… #TFD